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[11/15 @ 9pm] |
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obviously you and i need to talk.
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[11/8 @ 10pm] |
I'm in a weird situation right now. I feel very... insignificant, I don't know it's odd to describe.
I love how I only right in lj when i'm down, lolz, oh wells.
I miss my best friend.
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[7/10 @ 11pm] |
I don't know I don't know I don't know.
I find it hilarious that you're going to tell me I did something that I know I didn't do. It's not right to get mad at me when I've done nothing wrong, and you won't let me explain. I get upset, I've been upset, I don't know. I'm getting bad again, I just want to retreat. I want to go away, I don't know, I'm continuously repeating myself.
Oli, ahahah, I feel so gay for even talking to him, but I can't help it, I find myself oddly attracted to him, maybe it'd because he's so far away and holds so much mystery. He told me today that all he's got to do is make the final arrangements and he'll be here august 10-16. Weird, in an odd way I don't want him to come, because I feel like it'll ruin the mystery. I don't know, it's weird, I do but I don't.
I'm finding myself oddly attracted to another person, even though we don't talk, I think it's just for that fact. Kind of like a... "I can't get it so I want it"-crush. Who knows, I'm so confused, and my thoughts just run into one another.
I've got a million things weighing on my mind, that I can't put into words. All I want is a conversation with someone that means something. I want one with someone who doesn't really know the me inside and they'll be throughly surprised.
Blah, I don't know.
Weird.
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[7/5 @ 12am] |
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I guess I'm stuck in a rut, but who isn't anymore? I mean I have this awkward feeling that I'm going to lose some of my friends by the end of this summer. I don;t really understand why, and it's not that I'm jealous, I just hate being left out, I don't know, I actually can't understand it. I feel like I'm in such a weird position right now, I've got these odd resurging feelings that continue to come up and I don't understand why. I never realized how many private journals I've posted, and it makes me wonder what would've happened had I said it out loud? I pretend that I'm so upfront and honest, but really I'm not. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I guess everyone goes through this. My minds in overdrive 24/7. I hate it, I want to be able to rest but I can't. I get at most 4 hours of a constant sleep in a night, I don't know. I'm running on empty and feel like I'm about to break down. I feel so confused, about everything, and literally I mean EVERYTHING. Yeah, hah, I dunno. If done things that I never thought I would, but I don't care, I mean really fuck it. I don't know, I'm just.. I'll just do anything to get a moment of relaxation, but it never comes. I want to please everyone and make everyone happy, and I know that's an unattainable goal, but I'm striving for it. I don't know, I'm so confused with head. I'm so confused with all these questions in my head, I don't even know if I want to go to England anymore, it seems so hard to get there. who knows, i'm just stuck in a weird place. I don't know, i really don't understand anything anymore. I just want things to work out, I want my friendships to be stable, i'm sick of it, please please, don't think of me as a bitch when it seems like it, just know that you're still my best friends.
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[3/7 @ 9pm] |
MY NAME IS ALEX RIO, AND OMGZ I AM TOTALLY GAY FOR KELSEY CORBETT.
LIKE FREALZ, I WANNA FUCK HER COOCH.
SHES NOT INTO THAT THOUGH AND THINKS IM A BIG CREEP
WHICH I TOTALLY AM, BUT WHATEVAZ
SOMETIMES I SEE HER KISSING OTHER BOYZ AND I JUST GET SO JEALOUS
I WISH I WAS A BOY.
I LOVE PENISES, BUT ONLY IF ITS MY PENIZZZZ.
WOWOWOWOWOWOW, I AM SUCH A LEZZZZYYYYYYLEZLEZLEZLELZLEZLLEZLELZ
sike- Kelsey Corbett is my idol though, forreal, shes so cool.
When I grow up I want to be her.
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[12/25 @ 10pm] |
this was a great christmas
I'm kinda ready to go back to school because I miss my friends :) bahah
it's so weird not being in class like I'm used too, and being around my friends alll the time.
:D<3!
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[12/23 @ 12pm] |
so we went to the movies last night for my little brothers vbirthday :)
we saw night at the museum
i can't lie, that movie was adorable :D
especially the egyptian prince ;)
& THAT ADORABLE ELEPHANT.
seriously, I love elephants so much.
they're just adorable, they're probably the only thing i like right now hahah :D
i'm trying to be really nice to my family now.
iown even know
i'm in a really good mood!
tomorrow's christmas eve!
i better have presents at my door ;)
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[12/22 @ 10pm] |
OH SO NOW I CAN LIKE WHOEVER I WANT.
i'm really mad.
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[12/20 @ 3pm] |
seriously, for christmas, the only thing I want is an elephant necklace.
i would be so pumped if i got it:)
& if i dont, i'm going and buying myself one :D
haha, how lame?
blahhhhh
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[12/17 @ 10pm] |
i think wayyyy too much.
pointless...
someone tell me something happy :)
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[12/17 @ 1am] |
my life is boring.
i miss being in a relationship.
but then i'll miss being single.
i don't like anyone..
and it's gay
teh end.
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[10/15 @ 7pm] |
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homecoming : pictures!
it was really fun:)
I had a great time.
:D
I grinded with taylor cherrit the whole night
shook may money maker with jordon.
haha he had suspenders on so I had mucho fun with that:D
just hung out
I felt so good, I never wanted to stop dancing:)
danced with marles date because she wouldnt
made a grind train
grinded with taylor & everyone some more
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[9/6 @ 7pm] |
it's fabulous.
I threw up 3 times today.
I hate being sick.
so i organized my computer files.
which means I also looked at all my pictures
and read old conversations.
I miss the old alex rio.
the one that no one really knew a lot about.
and never did stupid things.
I changed in march.
I'm stupid.
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[9/4 @ 5pm] |
I'll try to make this perfectly clear
I'm so transparent I disappear.
who wants to run away with me?
fklds;afjdlskf.
why can't I ever seem to hold a relationship longer than a month?
Do I really suck that bad?
Oh well.
I do, I guess.
I need a job.
I need money.
Buhl Day sucked.
last year it was so different, I was friends with everyone.
I hate it.
grow up.
we all need to do a little bit of it.
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[8/23 @ 1pm] |
I miss Erica
even though we can talk online and on the phone and stuff she's not here.
It's odd.
Once we got close I dreaded the days until she left.
It was scary.
She became my like best friend.
I know people thought it was weird because I was so much younger but that didn't matter, we were sisters.
I never thought that I'd be able to call her my best friend.
I mean, we used to hate each other, and I really mean hate.
I actually used to deny her as my sister at times.
Call me messed up, but I did.
I had my reasons.
But then I really have Joe to thank for bringing her and I closer.
Because without him and her even talking, her and I probably wouldn't be talking still.
She'd hate me, and I'd hate her.
It odd now though, she knows me better than I know myself.
It's weird having my other half gone.
A part of me is in Kent and the other half here, and I kinda feel like it's the weaker one.
She kept me strong.
She's the one who never let me get down, and always told me that it'll get better.
I miss a lot I do.
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[8/20 @ 5pm] |
I miss Anna Waliga a whole freaking lot.
We used to be sisters on da realz.
Now, we only talk.
She was my sister, it's kinda been weird not really having her around this summer, just because last we were so close.
I remember we made a collage of FallOutBoy
hahhaah :)
and the day she was supposed to go to Erie we had her dropped off here and stayed:)
and I was never at my house I was with her constantly :)
We'd stay at each others houses for days on end.
It was great.
:(
She was my other half.
I don't know why I'm writing this.
:(
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[8/4 @ 2pm] |
[mood|  drunk]
[music| summer loving]
new mood themesss
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[7/9 @ 4am] |
Buff : ur nickname can be
Buff : coolitaliangirlimettonightthasprettydamnawesome
ARIO : hahahahah!
Buff : and mine can be buff
Buff : so tis all good
ARIO : oh yeahhh and everyone willl call me that =P
Buff : idk i think urs is a tad better
Buff : yea def dood
Buff : its simple
ARIO : hahahaha
Buff : easy to member
Buff : and short
ARIO : or course
ARIO : hahahaha
Buff : duh kid
Buff : duh
ARIO : we are sooo cool
ARIO : haha mine for you can be
Buff : i know...one of us needsto die...cas wen we started talking ther was an overload of coolness and its causing an inbalance to the world and its gnna blow up
ARIO : hahah sooo true!
hahahah
he's one of the coolest kids I know by far.
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[5/26 @ 6pm] |
I need a boyfriend.
or anything.
i cant take it anymore.
I do know in my past relationships I've messed up.
But everyone's entitled to a few of those.
But I want one that can work.
And last long.
And just make everyone jealous.
It's all I want right now.
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